Change Part II

Hello blog world... It's been a very very very very very long time. I just read through the entirety of my posts and realized I stopped writing approx 2 years ago... The time has flown by. It's funny that my last post is about change and yet it seems to be a recurring theme in life.

The changes going on -
Personal:
In Jan. '11 I met the most wonderful woman on the face of the planet. Her name if you didn't know is Amanda Sanges. She is the greatest blessing I could ever ask for. On November 12, 2011 she made me the luckiest guy in the world by agreeing to marry me. Our wedding is scheduled for Aug 11, 2012. The planning is going great, namely because I have had little to nothing to do with it/mess it up. I'm very excited but obviously with this happening life will change a lot very quickly.

Work:
I currently don't work for Pepsi anymore. It was a great place to work for the time I was there and was a great way to get back on my feet for the last 2+ years. In Jan '12 I was hired at UNCG! GO SPARTANS!!! I work in the office of Undergraduate Studies and my job can easily be explained as the in house IT guy. It's a dream. I have loved the last 4 months and am excited about that change in my life.

Spiritual:
A couple of weeks ago I was given one of the greatest compliments I think I have ever received. Mrs. Jaime told me that she hold told Pastor Craig that when her daughter was to start dating that she would hope it would be with somebody that was growing in their walk with the Lord like I have been. That blew me away. I was in awe that she had noticed so much change in me in the past year and a half that I have lived here. Oh yea.... I moved in with the Pastor's family back in OCT '10 after that jerk John went off and got married. :)

Other Big Changes:
My brother got engaged shortly after I did, and he and His Fiance have/are moving to Chapel Hill which is right down the road and much closer than Wilmington. I'm excited to have them so close.


So.. there are the updates... now to what I'm really here for.....

CHANGE PART II:

You can tell from the above descriptions that Life has changed drastically. I look back to the post I wrote on Dec 1, '09 and think wow... I was a completely different person then, and that was just a few short years ago. Life has a way of molding a person. The problem is with what you let mold you. We've had some new things changing in the church lately and without getting too far into it I have taken over as the Lead Sound person for the Kirk. An honor and a curse. It requires me to be at worship every Sunday at 8:30am. It also requires a lot of headaches I'm pretty sure :) Though it can be hard I often times find it rewarding. Also I've had to transition a lot from thinking and taking care of myself to putting others, specifically Amanda at the top of my priorities list. We are saving money right now and I'm having to pay for the Honeymoon which is probably the single most expensive thing I have ever had to pay for, not to mention Diamonds to go on fingers aren't cheap either ;) That girl better know I love her. HAHA. I've become a lot more embracing to change though. I think I have a better grasp on the faith it requires to stop trying to be the director and lead actor in my own life. Wow... I just came up with that on my own, I like it. I need to let the Lord be the director and have the comfy chair and stand in front of the cameras and say director what shall I do, and I think I have done a pretty good job of that lately. Amazing blessings have come out of this changing and tonight I actually go to teach our TNT small group about this very subject... what is change and how does it influence your life/mood/attitude/fullfilment?

Anywho.... Don't know how much writing I'll be doing because I said I'd try to write more last time and it only took me 2 years :(

Hope you enjoy.

Music Choice for this week:
Secrets - The best that you can't be

“Don’t upset the apple cart!” - 9 Months later

Hey everybody!

It's been more than 9 months now since I wrote in you mister blog. It's not that I haven't wanted to but things have been good and now that I've been back to working 40 hour weeks again I haven't had all this ridiculous time to write it all out.

Major updates:
1. I'm now a full fledged Pepsi Employee. I was hired on Jan. 25, 2010 praise the Lord. I also got promoted and have seen incredible thing that the Lord has provided through this job. I also get to work with Ian which is pretty sweet.
2. I'm taking up hunting for the first time ever and my mom is freaking out about it which makes me laugh. She doesn't know how anybody can shoot such a beautiful animal... haha... this'll just be more intentional than when my brother takes one out with his car... sorry Scott.
3. Personally/Spiritually life has been great. I just read my last post and was amazed at how I was feeling and see how far I've come since that.
4. Moved from the House which is kind of sad now because that means Ian went off and got hitched, DC moved back to Philly and out of the original musketeers only John and I are left to live together and hold it down! 'Cept that John and Kate get married in a month so that won't last long. It’s been awesome though because Max has moved in with us for about a month now and will be until he’s heading off to Rhode Island for the Navy.

...Which brings me to the topic on my mind... or at least in typing #4 made it the topic for this post.

CHANGE...

Most people in some way shape and form see change as a negative or something that is uncomfortable. Most people get to a point in which life becomes comfortable and they don't want anything to differ from the everyday stuff they are used to. But I challenge all of the people who will read this that if you look back at your life just over the last 365 days and inspect the changes in your life, short of a messy break-up or a lost loved one or other traumatic experience, most will say that they have been blessed by the changes that they have experienced.

However, for those that are true believers, isn't it our duty in life to change? Aren't we all signed up at conversion for a life of continued sanctification that will eventually lead us to change into something more Christ-like than the day that we originally converted?

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be TRANSFORMED by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

If we truly believe that God's will is perfect and pure then it is a command of us to change. Now I know I'm stretching it a bit to make the leap from - oh I now have a job... to change for Christ, but in that call I believe that we are called not only to make life changes but to make ourselves submit to the current of the flow of how Christ works in our lives and be willing that when that current pulls us one way or another to be able to let go of anything we are holding onto (picture a rock in a stream) and let the current just pull us when Christ is trying to take us. I believe that we will end up there anyway, but it's our decision on how painful we want the journey to be. I look at my pastor Craig as a great example of this. Craig was in law school when he felt the calling to ministry. How many of us can honestly say that if we were on our way to make a WHOLE lot of money and felt a little tug at our heart to say give all that up and follow me would be like "SWEET Sounds awesome God, LETS DO THIS!" but believe it or not that's what He calls us to.

Example: Matthew 4:19
"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men."

And they did... they got right the heck up and followed him!

Don't get me wrong... in a lot a ways change is very hard and can be both painful and can feel, in the midst of it, like it's the wrong thing. But ultimately our father in Heaven provides for us the best outcomes of our life. I'm by no means great at this, though I do seem to enjoy change a lot. I'm still very stubborn and kick against the current when I don't like where it is going but ultimately I lose energy and "go with flow"... did you like how that worked out with my stream/current picture?

So here's what I leave you with, are you excepting of change... I hate to use a now pop culture reference but are you still holding the wheel or have you let "Jesus take the wheel"... I shudder at the thought that I just wrote that so please excuse the lack of originality.(edit: I was just reading a previous entry that I wrote and realized I had used that reference before... sigh) I challenge each and every one of you, including myself, to say Lord how would you like me to change and where would you have me go or what would you have me do... and then FOLLOW!

So I hope you've enjoyed reading my blog again, I hope to write again often. I've missed just flushing some thought out into a text box... and of course I have to leave you with a music choice... and it's a great one:

ANBERLIN - WE OWE THIS TO OURSELVES off their new album due out this week!!!

Alone and surrounded by millions....

I know i haven't written in a while and i apologize for that... i still love you all :-P

Life's been up and down lately...

I'm at a weird place in life. And i'm sure this is going to make a whole lot of people... and i just mean a lot in terms of who reads this... think aw poor him. Which isn't what i'm going for at all.. this isn't a blog for a pitty party... i'm just in a weird place right now.

I feel very alone.. and it seems that i can somehow feel that way having plenty of people around me. The best description of this is that i feel uncomfortable in my own skin and so even when i am surrounded by those that love me i feel like i'm either elsewhere or that i'm somehow disconnected.

Examining life lately makes me think about some mistakes and past follies that i have experienced recurring in life. Things that you think how in the hell am i still dealing with this. How does this keep popping up. How is it that i can be so caught up in a moment in time to forget everything but that moment?

This might seem like rambling and if it is I'm sorry....

We've been studying trials lately in our small group through looking at abraham in Genesis and i feel like he did a heck of a lot better job cause i can't honestly say i feel like i've been passing any, but instead dive head first into what i shouldn't do/think/say.... whatever action the trial effects.

I've been internally miserable now and just lacking in fullness. That obviously shows me that my focus has become unfocused and that Christ isn't quite at the center. Sure fire test of what your priorities are is how fulfilled you are in my opinion. You just can't seem to be unfulfilled if Christ is the center cause he is unchanging... we just seem to change our focus.

**side note***

i like to use ..... all the time :D

**end side note***

I know i need to read the scriptures more cause well some is better than none... and a lot is better than some.....

I don't know why its still so hard for me to want to make time. And i honestly say want, cause, as craig once told me, if you want it bad enough you'll make it happen.

So i leave you now with a thought....
Why is internal struggle so crippling....???
Why is it that we can seem so happy but on the inside be struggling so much?
Is it in our nature to decieve others or is it societies influence on us to try to act as if everything is great so that we aren't real enough to have to worry about it?


***Another side note***

My mom is what i would call an abstract genious... and i don't mean artist... I love you moo!

***End second side note***


Anyway i really like the title of this specific entry because i think it's poetic and very real. So i hope you enjoyed this entry and please comment i enjoy reading what you think and your thoughts on my thoughts.

AND PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS/WATCH THIS VIDEO BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME...(they are scottish)

Life's misery

Sorry for not writing lately. To give everybody an update, I'm recently employed by Pepsi Bottling Group in Winston-Salem. Its been awesome but its been a real change as well. Things have been very different over the past week and a half.

Something that has been on my mind lately is the amount of despair and hardships that i've heard/seen/experienced recently. To start this isn't going to be a sad blog its good i promise... just stay with me :)

We as a people have turned into some of the most complaining people on the face of the planet. We've moved away from a leave it beaver family style society and moved into what seems like a waiting for the next misery to hit us. The great thing in this is that that's based completely on what I've been hearing and not necessarily on what is true.

My point is.... that it seems like people have a very easy time vocalizing hardships and misery but we seem to avoid the speaking on good things and expressing to one another the great things that we've been privileged to. Or maybe its the fact that we seem to think that the little things that we have that we don't like seem to make us feel worse off then we actually are....but in all reality most of us have a pretty sweet deal in this whole life thing.

So i know this is short but i just think maybe to start the week this week why not start to concentrate on all of the great things that are going on to/around you and not emphasize so much on the minute disappointments that we have.

I hope everybody has a great week and hopefully I'll write again real soon :D

oh and i have two music recommendations today.

1.. a good friend of mine just released a new CD and their band is called fruit smoothie trio... check them out

2. one of my favorite bands just released a new single off their new soon to release album.
Thirty Seconds To Mars - Kings + Queens - HD

30 Seconds to Mars | MySpace Video

The importance of people!

So i haven't written in a while cause life is moving at twice the speed i have become acustomed to in my unemployed life but that might become the norm very soon. More details when that becomes final.

But in the midst of having life move so quickly an otter like me gets swept up in all the business and chaos and we have such a hard time getting our feet on the ground cause we didn't have a plan.. so life has been very different this past week.

One thing i think that i have been able to stop and see though is the important part that friends and relatives and others play in your life. Both good an bad.

To start off, at worship this morning our pastor spoke on 3 different ways that sin tries to get at us. I won't explain all 3 but the one that effected me the most was what he called the "bug zapper."

The bug zapper is basically something that looks very enticing.. something that seems to be what we want. Nothing looks bad, it's all fun and games and then all of a sudden ZAP! we get hurt by it.

I look back at my college career and i don't do a very good job of looking forward to what might hurt me later i like to fly toward the light and wait for the zap to realize.. crap.. that wasn't a good idea.

This is where i think my friends are the best remedy. The Lord did not instill in me the ability to see these things coming... but my friends can sure tell me in a heart beat. Problem is i'm stubborn as my dad.... (Love ya pops... but you are stubborn.. ask mom)

But for real I don't like to listen when somebody says... that's not going to be good for you. I like to think of excuses like... let me make my own mistakes and i'll learn from them.. and how do you know you've never done it. Or the all time favorite that makes its way into my head... You and I are different so I know what's best for me.

Scary one right there.... that'll get you in some trouble!

I really just want to take the time to thank people. Close friends, especially my roomates, my church families, Pastor Childs, and i think most importantly is my parents.

I did a lot of stupid things growing up... wanna see?
yea, that's me before i graduated high school... oh the stipid years. i had the spike braclets and i had all the "goth/punk" clothing and i drove my parents crazy. Loud hard rock music, spent too much time in my solitary room. Cussed, and complained, and always talked about how bad life sucked.

I thought it did, i thought life was a dismal place that only got worse. Contimplated suicide a couple of times... short times, but if i'm being honest it really wasn't ever an option just an idea cause it didn't seem worth facing that idea that it wasn't going to get better. And the fact of the matter was.. i was doing stupid things that were going to hurt me that my friends and family were telling me not to do. They might not know it, cause i don't know if i've ever shared it, but i thank my friends and family for still being here, not just alive, but in the place i am in with all the blessings i have and for being who i am today.

Ask anybody and most of you would hopefully agree, that i am one of the most genuinely happy people you'll come across.

Wow.. i think i'm way off topic, but it's late... but my point is... My family and friends back then, and even my new friends and "families" play a huge role in my life. The love i have for it, and the enjoyment that i'll continue to get out of it.

Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25)

So anyway, i write this in tribute to all of you... who encourage me to keep on... to avoid the bug zappers, and by all means love and live life to the full.

YOU ROCK!

BIG CHANGES in small ways

So I apologize to any who have missed me writing. I've been keeping myself busy and going to sleep earlier due to lack of energy... it's really killing my good writing time... but here's a new one!


Remember in my last post about how i wasn't basically, for lack of a better Carrie Underwood song, letting Jesus take the wheel? Well i finally let go... and it's been awesome. So much has seemed to change with very little actually changing.

Which brings me to my topic for the evening. BIG CHANGES in small ways.

A lot of times we want life to move in tidal waves but most of the time it seems that God works in waves so small you couldn't surf. There's a beach reference to all my Wrightsville Beach people... miss ya 910.

The problem is this world, in my opinion is "normal" to most people. And God works like that most of the time because if we all saw BIG HUGE THINGS then there wouldn't be a question of whether or not he exists. This life in many ways is about the trust we have in Him and the fact that he did exist and He did die on a cross and He did rise from the dead.

ALL OFF THOSE ARE HUGE THINGS!!! but still in our world today we don't see a risen Lord, we hear about him. We don't get to see the Red Sea just split in two, which would be awesome and probably bring more and more people to the belief that God does exist. Instead we get little things in life but in reality they are just as BIG as the most miraculous thing you can think of. If you come from the stance to we are all helpless without Christ, continually doing all things for basically nothing, if we do them without a Godly purpose, then to have something happen, say a job interview, or a marrage, or any number of "blessings" in the world... they are MIRACULOUS!!! We don't deserve nor do we have the power to make these good things happen. We have to rely on the power of Christ for the miracles in our life.

Now people ask, well He's not here, how do i trust something that isn't going to materialize and say OK... here's how this works. Well the problem is we like to think in the physical or possibly even in the material. But the fact is that God, Christ, and even the Holy Spirit, though it dwells within all true believers, God doesn't exist materially. He exists in a state that we don't necessarily understand. AND even if he did exist materially, say in the form of the Human Jesus Christ, we end up putting him on a cross. So well, material didn't work either.

The fact is no matter how we "experience" God we are required to trust that:
1) He is Lord of our lives, sovereign in all things, *and in Him all things hold together -Colossi ans 1:17
2) That we are to trust him with all our heart -Proverbs 3:5
3) That all things work together for those who are called according to His purpose -Rom 8:28

So in a nutshell....trust is the main component to a personal relationship with Christ. Turn over all things to Him because they are His to begin with, and with his power things can be amazing.
_______________________________________________________

MUSIC SUGGESTION:
Cartel- Cycles

Life as is...

Ever think to yourself... what's the meaning of what i'm going through? How is this a good thing.. How is this going to better me?

I've been asking these questions more and more lately because, well... life's getting harder everyday. I keep getting these thoughts of... "you aren't good enough" or "nobody needs you". I lately have had a hard time finding peace with my unemployment. I've had a really hard time thinking about the near future and thinking about just how hard things might get as we near the end of the year.

But something even struck me today that's a recurring thing that has seemed to come together just as i type right this very instance....

We learn more in times of trouble and times of hardships. Think about that... what big LIFE LESSONS have you learned when you are too busy with all your things in life (see previous blog) or when you have all the money you need and have no worries in the world? We rarely stop to worry about things enough to learn from our situations and when things are going so well that we don't have to stop and worry about things we rarely look to the lord for our provision. We tend to start to become reliant on ourselves and we try to, mostly unconciously, leave the Lord out of our lives. Maybe that's my big revelations right there. I'm still trying to "DO" this on my own. I'm still relying on myself to work things out. Well... there it is.... my big epiphany for the evening.

If stuff is going your way... quick, learn to be thankful for it and don't let that change your view or way you rely on the lord because certianly enough you will experience some hardships for the Lord to bring you back to him.

If you are going through hardships.. look to the Lord for comfort and for guidance and i know what most people say is... well the Lord isn't going to talk to me so what do i wait for. Prayer is as much about listening as it is about talking. Listen to the way the Lord moves your ideas, your heart, and see what happens. It can be amazing.

SUGGESTED MUSIC:
Lonely Wheel - Official Video